You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Love Yourself You Are Enough
This is something I’ve struggled with and still have a hard time with at times. But I’ve realised that I and you are still just as worthy even in the moments we don’t feel it.
Connection Can Remind Us of Our Worth
I’ve often been harsh on myself. There was a day I was very tired and felt dull. Another one of my struggles is that when I’m exhausted or low, I tend to dislike myself and have negative thoughts like “i’m ugly” or “useless” (which isn’t true) . Whereas on the days I feel my best, both internally and externally, it’s much easier to like myself.
On this particular day, I was doing a guided tour alone. Looking back, I’m proud of myself for being curious and independent enough to do that. But at the time, I wasn’t in the best mood and was being quite self-critical.The person doing the tour it was one-on-one in a Tuk Tuk, he was definitely a unique character. Yet, we ended up having one of the most interesting conversations I’d had in a long time. We shared common interests in mental health, art, and culture. The conversation had real depth.
Towards the end, the tour guide said something that really stayed with me: “I don’t normally bother showing people everything I’m showing you. You’re a rare exception. You actually care and are interested.”At the end of the tour, he hugged me and that meant something. It reminded me that I had made a difference to his day, just as he had to mine. It felt like a meeting of minds. I didn’t matter that I had started my day not feeling my best, It helped me see my worth again. I wasn’t feeling my best that day. I could have stayed home, but I didn’t. I went out, gave it a go, and ended up having a meaningful connection. Think, too, about how you show up in the world. And what about your values?Are you kind? Empathic? Do babies smile at you? Do animals feel comfortable around you? Celebrate it and don’t be scared to be appreciated.
Sometimes when we can’t see it ourselves, it’s about how others help us remember what’s already there:
Sometimes, others see us clearly when our inner critic gets loud.
Small, sincere interactions a kind word, a hug, a meaningful conversation can remind us we matter.
Connection pulls us out of self-focus and back into shared humanity.
It’s not about seeking validation but allowing others to remind us of truths we’ve temporarily forgotten.
When we’re open, even brief encounters can shift how we see ourselves, showing that we’re curious, kind, or thoughtful even on days we feel off.
“Sometimes people hold up a mirror, to show us who we are.”
Learning to Validate and Love Yourself
There will be times when people misjudge you, misunderstand your intentions, or simply don’t see your full worth. And when that happens, it can shake your sense of self, if your self-worth depends too much on external validation.
That’s why building self-love from within is essential. It’s not arrogance, and it’s not selfishness. It’s the foundation that keeps you grounded when the world doesn’t reflect back what you know to be true about yourself.
Self-love means:
Knowing your value even when others don’t.
Being kind to yourself when you feel left out or unseen.
Holding space for your own emotions without needing permission from others.
Staying aligned with your values, even when it's unpopular.
When your self-worth is internal, you don’t need the world to always get you, because you understand yourself.
A way to cultivate this is through your passions and curiosities are, they add to your worthiness. They make up a part of who you’ve become not just how you feel in a given moment. Also, whatever it is that’s good about you, celebrate it. Acknowledge it. There’s only one you. Be you and love you on your best days, your not-so-good days, and your worst days.If you make mistakes, learn from them. Ask yourself, “How can I do things differently going forwards?”.If you do something good, however small, pat yourself on the back. All of these days are your days. It’s the richness the ups and downs, feeling unsure at times that make your story and make you, you.
If you’re not quite where you want to be in life in health, love, relationships, friendships or career, it’s easy to be hard on yourself. But I want to remind you to trust the timing of things. Maybe not being where you want to be yet is actually part of the lesson. You might be gaining insight about what you don’t want, or about how you’ve been and what you refuse to be anymore. Sometimes, being at a low point can become a catalyst for change. And maybe, if everything had been “perfect,” you wouldn’t have grown into who you’re meant to become. Also, every moment is a new chance.
Some reminders:
Self-worth isn’t something you need to earn.
It is important to speak to yourself as kindly as you would speak to someone else you love.
Understanding that worthiness and growth can co-exist, you can both love yourself now and want to evolve.
“Loving yourself isn’t about perfection. It’s about embracing all of you.”
What You Can Do to Start to Overcome the Feeling of Not Being Enough
Challenge negative thoughts. Whenever you have a negative thought about yourself, write down something to the contrary that is positive or if that is hard something neutral and more objective if that feels more realistic.
Treat yourself kindly, as much as possible through actions, habit and by shifting your attitude towards yourself.
You deserve care at all times. If you’re tired, that’s the perfect moment for a long hot bath, a nourishing meal, and anything else that feels like self-respect. You’re worthy of care every single day.
Reconnect with your passions. Write down all the things you love doing or are curious about, and reflect on how you can bring more of them into your life. You can also make a list of what you’d like to change or let go of.
Look at a photo of yourself as a child. Print it out and place it somewhere you’ll see often. That child is still you, how would you want them to be treated? With gentleness and love. You deserve that same kindness today.
Use the affirmations on my website. Go to the Tools section and use the affirmations for moments like these.
